Omega Mart Frees Your Toes and Mind with New Shoes

Walking on eggshells is a thing of the past– now you can walk on egg cartons. Cage-Free Toes shoes, Meow Wolf’s newest innovation, comes by way of Omega Mart, the world’s most imaginative and trusted grocery store, ending the tyranny of closed-toe footwear. 

Sharing the color of the finest, most exquisite egg yolks from the finest chickens, these shoes will make you the envy of all of your friends, and you’ll be the cock-of-the-walk in any social situation.

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Your feet will be seated upon what look like glorious egg cartons, complete with a “Certified Human” stamp on the top, just to let you know these shoes are made for human feet. You do not need to refrigerate these shoes, even if you’re a multidimensional being composed of fire. But again, these shoes are only certified for humans. Please don’t wear these if you’re not human.

“I used to be a closed-toe kind of person,” explained shoe enthusiast Stevie Legit. “But after trying on Omega Mart’s very comfortable Cage-Free Toes shoes, my mind has been opened to new ideas. And everyone can see just how beautiful my toes are, all year round, even in the winter months.”

Free your feet and buy Cage-Free Toes online here.

Get them while supplies last, or keep your toes forever caged, locked away in the dark.