Orbiting the DFW Metroplex for Spring Break

How do we actually break in spring? ‍

Why are humans so enthralled by a time of year when pollen is swirling through the atmosphere? Does it involve a regenerative petal ritual? To a simple 46th dimension being like myself, I’ve crash landed in DFW to report back on the most delicious and delightful places to make the most of spring break.

An analytical human-conducted census reveals that DFW welcomes over 4 million visitors into the area every spring break, but I need to know what these 4 million humans do here every year. I’m determined to identify the prime locations to fully embrace and enjoy this flourishing time of year. Spring Break appears to be more than just a time to breathe, it’s a time to live. Whether you’re carting your little life forms for family fun, starving for the best bites, or traversing through dimensions in The Real Unreal, North Texas has a number of gems that are not to be missed.

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‍Best Places for Wildlife Research‍

People looking to acquaint themselves with the great outdoors are in luck. There are over 700 parks between Dallas and Fort Worth alone, leaving for a wild rush of options for a moment outside. The Fort Worth Trinity Trails offer hours of riverwalking, jaunting, and shimmying that curve through the bends of downtown Fort Worth, the cultural district, and reserves. Those looking for even more contained water are in luck. Lake Grapevine offers an array of swimming, paddling, and sun-bathing. Those looking for something a little more controlled might explore the massive Dallas Arboretum, a bountiful botanical feast of flora!

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‍Best Places for Wild Life Research‍

The outdoors are great and all, but where can a fourth dimensional aquatic being have a little fun around here? The weird fun– the kind of fun that feels fluffy and smells confusing. The DFW metroplex is rife with some of the most delightful and largest kinds of weird that you can imagine. Those looking for that true Texas flair may cross paths in the Stockyards– hostingBilly Bob’s, the world’s largest honky tonk that features a rodeo stadium, 30 different bars, stations, concerts, and more.  For those seeking a different tune, Josey Records beckons with its sprawling aisles of vintage vinyl in the country’s largest record store. On the Dallas side, art fans can seek refuge in the avant-garde enclave of the Tin District. Stop by for a spray painting spree in the graffiti park or if you’re lucky you might catch one of Meow Wolf Grapevine’s collaborating artists in their studio! 

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‍Best Places for Carbon-Based Digestion‍

Starting the day off, you can’t go wrong with a brunch at The Rustic which features a full tea party-style breakfast of quiche, hot chicken, and french toast served to the size of your party. 

At DeLucca Gaucho Pizza & Wine, the aroma of freshly baked dough and savory toppings fills the air, beckoning food enthusiasts to indulge in unlimited gourmet pizza without pause as the establishment boldly posits: what if the pizza buffet was classy?. Servers dash around the restaurant with chicken masala, brisket bbq, and falafel pizzas for excited eaters.

Fresh from your interdimensional visit to The Real Unreal and trying to keep the un-reality going? Magic Time Machine Restaurant transcends the bounds of time and space, whisking diners away on a journey through the ages. It is a true fever dream. No two tables are the same as the Queen of Hearts or a beatnik hippie serves you a platter of nostalgic American burger-pizza-french-fry.

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‍Where They’re Drinking‍

So here’s the tea (and by tea, I mean alcohol): North Texas has some of the most unique and wildest places to let loose. The frozen margarita isn’t just a staple here– it was invented in Dallas. In fact, there’s an entire route of some of the best dubbed the Margarita Mile. Within Oaklawn, one of the largest LGBTQ+ bars in the country lies a crown jewel – the Round-Up Saloon – a country-western gay bar & dance hall that includes line dancing, drag shows, and nights of pop-fueled dance chaos. Those partying on the Fort Worth side of the metroplex can indulge in craft cocktails as Instagram-worthy as the decorations at Curfew or unwind at the hidden underground jazz lounge Scat. 

You can find a full spree of fun bars in Denton. Enjoy cocktails on-tap at Miss Angelines, unwind with some records at Vinyl Lounge, and stop for a brew at Oak St. Those looking for an alcohol alternative should check out The Kava Bar, which specializes in ancient root drinks that leave you feeling relaxed and down-to-earth.

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Where They’re Thinking

In Dallas, the avant-garde Dallas Contemporary stands as a beacon with innovative paintings, sculptures, and installations always on display. The Perot Museum of Science serves a journey of discovery through interactive exhibits and hands-on activities that delve into the wonders of science and technology. Across the Trinity River in Fort Worth, the Carter Museum captivates with its unparalleled collection of American art, while The Modern showcases cutting-edge works from around the world, inviting contemplation and dialogue. Amidst these immersive spaces and cultural institutions, the human specimens might find solace and inspiration.

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‍Where They’re Twinkling‍

Covering all of DFW, there are some final hidden gems to really make the most out of this spring break ceremony. In downtown Fort Worth, the Water Gardens are a space of brutalist yet enchanting concrete. This space features a series of massive water fountains and waterfalls that somehow blend skate park with ancient ruins that has been featured in music videos from the likes of Solange and Kendrick Lamar. 

The ravers amongst you will shine at It'll Do Disco Club! The dance floor pulsates with vibrant energy as revelers lose themselves in the rhythmic beats and dazzling lights of the night. Across this dimension, Medieval Times transports visitors to a bygone era of chivalry and spectacle, where knights clash in epic battles and the air is filled with the sounds of cheering crowds. Is it a chain? Yes. Did I enjoy eating a chicken leg with my shape-shifting arms? Yes.

Cinematic masterpieces flicker to life on the dazzling silver screen at the historic Texas Theatre, the oldest theater in the Lone Star State. In these twinkling treasures, one thing is certain: the night sky of North Texas twinkles with endless possibilities.

Our indicators show that everything truly is larger in Texas but not in a cringey gluttonous way. Events, memories, and moments are just more profound here. Here’s to breaking more spring during Spring Break in this dimension!